A.T is delighted. "Brilliant! My Air Tremor is parked just a few blocks away. Let's do thi..."
"What?" J.S interrupts. "What are you doing with an Air Tremor? You can barely control your own pins, never mind a hover vehicle."
"Calm down, J.S, it's a piece of piss even in my case."
"I can't believe I'm taking your word for that." Says J.S. "We'll head for the motor once I have my supplies."
A.T tilts his head in bemusement. "Supplies?"
"Yes. I called one of my dealers to fix me up with some LSD." J.S explains frustratedly.
A.T sniggers while shaking his head. "And you give me a hard time for being on the sauce."
J.S gives a dirty look. "Shut up." He mutters.
Mere moments later, a tall figure appears under the street lights only yards from where they are standing.
"Gif, not before time."
Gif is the local drug supplier and former member of the old empire which was situated where they stand. His build is similar to that of a human - due to the use of a drug containing human DNA which has been out of circulation for 8 years now - but he is primarily a super evolved Giraffe. His neck is much shorter than your average Giraffe, although the head is typical of the animal. He wears a black hooded fleece with light grey jogging bottoms and black sports trainers. He searches his pockets and pulls out several strips of LSD.
"5 strips of 9, yeah?" Enquires Gif in his deep, gruff tone.
J.S nods his head in a positive motion.
"What's it to be? 'Astro Goat' or the 'Men of Dust' logo?" Gif asks whilst panning 'round suspiciously.
J.S pauses for a moment. "Who gives a shit? As long as it does the job, man."
They quickly trade the drugs and pelts (the currency of Earth at this time) and Gif disappears into the darkness as if no scenario had occurred.
"Okay, A.T. Let's go and get this over with." Says J.S.
A.T shakes his head. "I wish it were going to be as simple as that."
"Well, you say we've got a few blocks to travel, how about you fill the time by explaining what the fuck you mean by that?" Asks, a clearly irritated, J.S.
A.T accepts the request. "Ok, I will. For the past year or so, A.R.S.E have been working on an important case - the tracking down and comprimising of Carlton Crow. Crow is the owner of C.C Weaponry which, obviously, designs and manufactures military firearms. On a side note, I like to imagine the 'C.C' part stands for 'Caniving Cunt'. There were rumors he was building the most advanced and destructable weapons ever constructed, so a few of the agent iguanas were sent there to scope around. They never returned. The boss seemed to think they'd boycotted the mission without any permission, an assumption I thought was bullshit, so he decided to send a few more agents to search for them whilst the Secret Squadron attempted to infiltrate the C.C Weaponry HQ. This time, only one of the iguanas returned critically wounded. His only words were 'they're alive'. Over and over he said those exact words. So, basically, the mission is two-fold - kill Crow and deal with whatever it is that is 'alive'."
J.S thinks to himself for a few seconds and seeks to make sure he understands the situation. "Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to help you achieve what multiple agents and military soldiers couldn't, which is launch a successful attack on an establishment containing dangerous armed constructs which are apparently 'alive', terminate all of them and their creator?"
A.T produces a smirk. "You catch on quick for being an unemployed junkie."
"That's only due to the fact that you are an alcoholic with the inability to sugar coat an explanation in order to make it sound a bit less like a brutal fucking suicide." Says J.S.
"What have you got to lose?" Asks A.T.
"According to the drugs, my awesome life and a drum kit made from the scales of a coy fish." J.S responds sarcastically.
They reach A.T's Air Tremor and jump inside. It is metallic blue and looks like a small sports car with a rubber dingy attatched to the bottom instead of wheels. A split second after A.T turns the key, a dark figure appears in front of the vehicle. Both of them recieve a shock and A.T accidentally slams his foot on the accelerator and, before he can hit the brake, the hover craft crashes into the figure sending it up and overhead. It lands with a grim thud a few yards behind them.
J.S looks in the rear view mirror. "What the fuck was that, man!?"
A.T looks worried. "Hopefully nothing important. We should take a peek."
They slowly emerge from the Air Tremor and make their way to the scene of where the thing landed. There is nothing to be seen except poison covered streets.
To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment